So I was 30 Minutes Late for my Thesis Defense

There was never a more appropriate time for this face.

I suppose it didn't help that I went to bed at 4am last night. I suppose it didn't help that yesterday was really stressful, or that I waited probably too long to finish my presentation slideshow (but still got it done). It probably didn't help that I scheduled my presentation at 9am, and it definitely didn't help that I trusted a phone that likes to shut off for no reason.

It was 7:30am this morning when I woke up. I did hit snooze a few times, but who doesn't? I set my alarm early to account for that. Today was a big day! Better get going. I took a shower. Bobby was here already, that's weird, he usually doesn't shower this early. He must have an early meeting or something.

Anyway, I got dressed and walked into the living room. I didn't feel nearly as tired as I thought I would. I figured I'd check the clock to see what time it was, because sometimes you gotta know if you're going to make a big hearty breakfast or need to eat some quick cereal. After all, this was a big, important day!  Better be on time.

The clock said 9:12.

What? That's weird. Did the power go out? 8:12 is running a little late; I'll have to eat some cereal and get going. I didn't take a 40 minute shower, but maybe I woke up at 7:40 or 50 or something. It's happened before. What did Bobby have to do so early today?

Then my phone rang. It was my advisor.

"Hello?"
"Mike?"
"Yeah?"
"It's Your Advisor"
"Hi."
"Um...where are you?"
"I'm at home..." WAIT THE CLOCK ISN'T WRONG I AM WRONG EVERYTHING IS WRONG OH GOD I SLEPT TOO LATE I DID NOT WAKE UP AT 7:30 IT'S REALLY 9:12 OH GOD WHAT HAPPENED HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN I WAS SO PREPARED THIS WASN'T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN "...It's not 7:30, is it. It's 9:12."
"Yes...it is."
 "I am SO sorry. I thought it was 7:30! OMG."
"Are you...coming in to school?"
"Yes. Yes! I am coming right now. OMG"

I hit a few chairs and things in my room for good measure. There were a few times I flailed my hands in the air and sort of spun in place, looking for whatever it was I needed to bring. I floored it to school, yelling at traffic and doing very unsafe driving things. Then I ran here, and gave my presentation while sweating, voice cracking at all the right times. What kind of jerk shows up late to his own defense. Jesus. I'm throwing my phone out the window next time I'm on the highway. I'm throwing myself out the window next time I'm on the highway.

I still can't grasp why I couldn't figure out that the clock was right, or why I didn't check my phone's time when I woke up. I just blindly trusted everything, and then was like LOL what a DUMB WRONG CLOCK.

So yeah, I left two professors who hold my future in the palm of their hands and have way, way more important things to do than listen to me talk about my little experiment (one of whom wouldn't have even come in today) sitting there in a room together, wondering if I was dead (or wishing it).

It still went well, for those still counting. I am approved and all that. Huzzah. There was cake in the breakroom so I ate like 500 pieces and am going home to wallow and drink at a very early hour and hate everything. Happy Monday!